The Onion: Twitter Creator On Iran: 'I Never Intended For Twitter To Be Useful'

Twitter Creator On Iran: 'I Never Intended For Twitter To Be Useful'

SAN FRANCISCO—Creator Jack Dorsey was shocked and saddened this week after learning that his social networking device, Twitter, was being used to disseminate pertinent and timely information during the recent civil unrest in Iran. "Twitter was intended to be a way for vacant, self-absorbed egotists to share their most banal and idiotic thoughts with anyone pathetic enough to read them," said a visibly confused Dorsey, claiming that Twitter is at its most powerful when it makes an already attention-starved populace even more needy for constant affirmation. "When I heard how Iranians were using my beloved creation for their own means—such as organizing a political movement and informing the outside world of the actions of a repressive regime—I couldn't believe they'd ruined something so beautiful, simple, and absolutely pointless." Dorsey said he is already working on a new website that will be so mind-numbingly useless that Iranians will not even be able to figure out how to operate it.

The most interesting thing about Twitter to me is the unintended ways it is being used. All joking aside, I do believe personal, mobile broadcasting is changing the world. In the very near future nearly everyone on the planet will be carrying a device capable of broadcasting and text, images, audio, and video with them everywhere they go. One day soon these devices will all be connected on a high-speed, worldwide data network. There is no question in my mind that this 21st century phenomenon will shape the future in big ways.